I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
