I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
