writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
