Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
