It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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