Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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