dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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