We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
