I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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