This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
