??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
now i know why i became what i already was.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just want nice things and good sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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