we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
