Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So much rum. So many feels.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
