the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just invented taco cereal.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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