I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Two words: blizzard sex
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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