look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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