Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
