ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
