Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this hospital has no fireball
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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