She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
