She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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