Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
