Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
