i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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