Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
