Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
