Im at strip club and am horny
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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