how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
