She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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