...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
