I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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