and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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