Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
