i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
