i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
