walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
