it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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