what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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