Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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