I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
