try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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