i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
