how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
