At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
