...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
