just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my shit smells like andre
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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