Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
