Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
