You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
