is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
